I remember we were driving, one of those beautiful warm July days with popcorn clouds in the sky, the powerlines oscillating up and down as we went by so fast, too fast. It was perfect.
Jupiter was in the back with his head stuck out the window, his shaggy hair blowing back, smiling in that way that dogs do, just living in the moment. I noticed that though and...it's funny how you can feel so weird all of a sudden about life, thinking about it too much.
I don't remember were we were going. It was just a day out of the house I guess, maybe to see something new. We were halfway to Wisconsin. And I looked over at you, and you at me. And you smiled in your way, like you didn't like to be looked at and I laughed and you laughed. I wish I had said something, but I didn't. Maybe it would have ruined that moment.
Days have been long now, but also short somehow. Life goes on around me but I feel...still. I had to put Jupiter down after a few months. He could never walk again and it was just cruel for him to be in pain and struggle. He'd still always wag his tail when I came near him, thumping on the floor. I knew he hurt but he still loved me no matter what. He couldn't understand blame. That's the kind of love I had for you and I never said anything about it, and I'm sorry.
Maybe I'll see a summer day again, warm, humid, fragrant, with popcorn clouds and not feel this way. Maybe I'll just feel you with me. I hope that will be true.
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