This was written a few years back as an dialog exercise at a meeting of the local RWA chapter (and it's further proof I don't belong at an RWA meeting). Enjoy!
Dinner with Knives and Forks
Jake, a homeless man is rooting through a fast food dumpster. His companion is Bartholemew, a rat.
Jake: I got barbeque sauce on my shirt again! Why do they have to make these damn sandwiches so sloppy?
Bart: The trick is to lick the sauce off the paper first. It's like an appetizer.
Jake: Why do you always have to interrupt my good rants? Why don't you poke your whiskers into someone else's business?
Bart: I'm only trying to help.
Jake: How can you help me you filthy little runt? What are you going to do, teach me how to run through a sewer without getting my feet wet?
Bart: Actually, the trick is to --
Jake: Ah, shut up! Damnit, you made me drip more sauce on my shirt. I hate you!
Bart: You know, that stain is beginning to look like the Virgin Mary --
Jake: I'll give you an appetizer!
Bart: Hey hold on - I'm trying to tell you something important!
Jake: You're a rat, what do you know? You've got a tiny little brain the size of a pea!
Bart: Fine. I'll just tell you.
Jake: Spill it then. This should be hilarious.
Bart: Be happy friend.